Tips & Tricks: Freeze your I.D.

In early sobriety extreme mood swings, cravings and withdrawals make the temptation of drinking slowly look more desirable. You know it’s a bad decision but your scumbag brain slowly starts to coerce you into thinking you don’t have a problem or you can only handle two drinks. Well drastic times call for drastic measures.

mclovin

In many states it is required for businesses that sell tobacco and alcohol to check for ID no matter your age and no matter how crusty old you are. It’s time to make it one step harder to buy alcohol. Freeze that son-of-a-bitch. Freeze it right up. Literally.

Step 1: Take your ID

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Step 2: Submerge your ID in a container filled with water.

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Step 3: Put it in the Freezer.

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Do NOT eat your ID popsicle!

When you want to go buy that alcohol go watch that bastard thaw out. Sure you can do stuff to make it thaw faster- but are you really going to jeopardize your ID to shave off a few minutes? Then you can’t buy alcohol at all.

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BTW, while you’re sitting there watching your drivers license thaw out from a block of ice- realize you’re sitting there watching your drivers license thaw out from a block of ice. It’s not fucking normal. You have a drinking problem. Go to bed, call a friend for support- do whatever the fuck you have to do besides watching ice melt.

Disclaimer: In many states driving without your license is a ticketable offense. While I do not condone breaking the law- the price of a ticket is far less than the price of your sobriety- or a DUI for that matter.

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