I’ve seen people before who have been embarrassed by their sobriety or the fact that they even have an addiction. I get it. Trust me, I do. Any time you see a clip on TV or on Youtube of those TMZ dickheads you see them openly mock some actor for going to rehab or some actress for showing signs of having mental instability due to something going on in her personal life. I could write a book on the patheticness of a group of people sitting in a room shit talking the very people of whom they are jealous of status, professional conquests and financial well being.
So it’s easy to see why in your mind being sober may be embarrassing. Why it may feel like something you need to be ashamed of. But those TMZ twats are wrong. That’s not reality. Sure, there are people like them in the real world. You will have people who look down on you for having an addiction you have overcome or are working on overcoming. The world isn’t perfect and you can’t easily change the beliefs of an ignoramus. As the saying goes: Those that matter don’t care and those that care don’t matter.
The fact of the matter is that people respect the hell out of someone who has bettered themselves. People love an underdog. They look up to someone who overcame adversity. Hollywood doesn’t make movies about people that have no personal growth. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of films that are made about someone who started low and finished high. Note to the sober drug addicts: not THAT kind of high.
You didn’t choose to be an addict. You didn’t choose to have a problem with a meaningless substance. No one should ever be embarrassed or ashamed about something they did not choose but instead was thrust upon them. Whether it be an addiction, a birth defect, their sexuality or the fact that genetically you look like a young David Caruso. You didn’t choose to have an addiction, but you can choose to take the steps to overcome it. Or you have overcome it- so fuck yeah.
But you know what is embarrassing? All the stupid, over the top, sloppy ass shit you did as an addict. We all have the stories. Sit through two different AA meetings on opposite ends of the world and I assure you that you will hear two very similar stories. Why should you feel ashamed of beating the thing that caused you to do such embarrassing things?
Any time I tell someone that I am sober I feel absolutely no shame, no remorse, no hidden negativity, nothing. Why? I’m no longer that guy. I’m no longer that asshole that awoke face down one morning under the kitchen table with my pants around my ankles. I’m not someone who pukes on my friend’s personal belongings any more. I’m no longer the guy that thought he was alone at home, blasted a fart that could knock out a small animal and then turned around to a room full of people. Sweet Jesus that still makes me cringe.
But I am the guy that gets embarrassed thinking about those awful, but equally laughable moments. Cause I’m not that person any more. That was someone else who happened to look an awful lot like a chubbier version of myself. So sure, it is a bit cringey to think about- but knowing I’m not that person any more is something to be proud of.